Domestic Violence

If I can survive, so can you

For IMMEDIATE HELP call 911

For help call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (TTY 1-800-787-3224). There you can talk to a professional in complete confidence.

Domestic violence may consist of threats, punches or sexual force. The abuse can range from verbal harassment to stabbing and shooting. Domestic violence is a serious matter. It HAS often ended in death or permanent physical injury.

Perhaps you are one of the many women looking for a way out. Or perhaps you grew up in an abusive home. Or just the idea of any person being physically harmed by someone who claims to 'love' her infuriates you. For any of these reasons, you want to make it -domestic violence- stop.

• Each year 1 million women suffer nonfatal violence by an intimate partner.
• 4 million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner during an average 12-month period.
• Nearly 1 in 3 adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood.

Most of the victims of domestic violence does not open their heart and talk about the problems they have in their homes, or try to find solutions BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

I hope these pages will help you to find your solution and help you and your children to survive from violent situations which may happen. Also I hope you will tell me your story and give me the possibility of publishing it in my pages. "Together we can stop the cycle of domestic violence"

There are many forms of domestic abuse, ranging from screaming threats to pushing and shoving. Contrary to what many women think, abuse isn't just physical battering.

Domestic abuse may include emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, using children, threats, using male privilege, intimidation, isolation and a variety of other behaviors used to maintain fear, intimidation and power. In all cultures, the perpetrators are most commonly the men of the family.

Nearly one in three adult women experiences at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood, according to the American Psychological Association in a 1996 report.

Domestic abuse does not discriminate against race, age and socioeconomic background. No specific type of woman is more prone to being battered by her partner, nor is one type of woman completely safe from abuse.

• The abuse is not your fault
• You don't deserve to be abused
• You can't change someone who is abusive
• Staying in the relationship won't stop the abuse
• With time the abuse always gets worse
• If you stay, make a plan to keep yourself safe when the abuse happens again
• You CAN Fight Back!

Acts of domestic violence generally fall into one or more of these categories:

• Physical battering -- The abuser's physical attacks or aggressive behavior can range from bruising to murder.
• Sexual abuse -- Physical attack by the abuser is often accompanied by or culminates in, sexual violence.
• Psychological battering -- The abuser's psychological or mental violence can include constant verbal abuse, harassment, excessive possessiveness, isolating the woman from friends and family, and depriving her of food, money, clothes, and destroying her personal property.
• Be Prepared!

The Criminal Code says that assault is a criminal offence. The Code describes three types of assault and sets maximum penalties (called sentences) for each type. The three types of assault are:

• Simple assault (most common assault). Examples are slapping, pushing or shoving, punching or threatening that he or she will harm you or your children.
• Assault with a weapon or causing bodily harm. Examples are an assault where you are beaten with a baseball bat or an assault where you get a black eye or broken bones.
• Aggravated assault is an assault where your life is endangered or you are wounded, maimed or disfigured. Examples are where the offender threatens to kill you or where your injuries from the assault leave you with a limp or scars.

• Are you frightened of your partner's temper?
• Are you often compliant because you are afraid to hurt your partner's feelings or are afraid of your partner's anger?
• Do you have the urge to "rescue" your partner when your partner is in trouble?
• Do you find yourself apologizing to others for your partner's behavior when you are treated badly?
• Have you been hit, kicked, shoved, or had things thrown at you by your partner when he was jealous or angry?
• Do you make decisions about activities and friends according to what your partner wants or how your partner will react?
• Do you drink or use drugs to dull the pain or join your partner so he won't get mad?
• Do you consent easily to your partner to avoid angering him?

• He is extremely jealous.
• Wants to know where you are at all times.
• Gets upset if you spend time with friends or family.
• Holds rigid expectations of male/female or adult/child role.
• He expects you to meet his emotional needs.
• Blames others and you for his problems.
• Threatens you with violence.
• There may be many other warning signs; you can phone the nearest Woman's Shelter for further information.
• Do something before it's too late!

In your contact with any family member, the following observations should be considered clues to the possibility of wife assault.

• A history of wife assault or child abuse in his family of origin.
• A suspicion of child abuse or sexual abuse in his role as a father.
• Abuse of drugs or alcohol.
• A history of suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts.
• Such characteristics as:
• Impulsiveness
• Temper tantrums
• Jealousy
• Possesiveness
• Excessive dependence on his wife
• Immaturity

• They try to isolate victims from family and friends
• They minimize and deny their behavior
• They veil power and control over others
• They blame victims
• They distrust others
• They often have been victims or witnessed abuse
• They usually have low self-esteem
• They are not in touch with their own feelings

For more information about preparing to leave and getting out click here